it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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