Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
