Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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