omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
