Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
