I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Boobs are out for the taking
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
