i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
