He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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