You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
