I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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