I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
