There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
