R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
