I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
