I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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