another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
