I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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