Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize