That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
