I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
