I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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