one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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