I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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