I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
