Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
