dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
