dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
