Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
