she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
they need to just BURY HIM!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize