Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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