Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize