Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
