I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
