WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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