I cockslap morals
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
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