Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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