I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
