wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
