If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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