last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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