So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize