No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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