Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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