took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
