they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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