Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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