I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize