if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
