She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
