yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
