then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Come share oat with me in your robe
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
