Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
