Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
