So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
