My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize