That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
