Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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