i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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