Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
