Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I know her cup size but not her name....
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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