He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize