she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
