Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
