No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
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