if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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