Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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